It's my wedding after all!

…I have to have the last word!

What A weeekend!!

“Ohhhhhh……..maaaaaaaaaay……gaaaaaaaaaaawd!!!” she screeched in my ear.  I almost dropped the phone and my coffee mug.

“I am sorry, who is this?”  I asked struggling hard to be polite. What I really wanted to do was cut the connection and block the caller.

“It’s me you idiot!”  right. You tell me who is the bigger idiot here. Me, who does not really want to carry on a conversation with this mysterious, screechy caller or she, who identifies herself as ‘me.’

“You didnt recognise me?” she said in a mildly offended tone.

“Voila!” I wanted to scream in her ear, in the same screechy manner in which she had screamed in mine.

“I am Natasha dodo!” she said on a nervous giggle.

Oh! Of course Natasha! My supposed first cousin who has, god knows how, chanced upon my number and was now calling me after about two years on nil correspondence.

“Hey,” I said in a voice completely devoid of enthusiasm.

Taking this as a cue she repeated, “Ohhhhhhhh…….mayyyyyyyyyyyyy…….Gawwwwwwwwwwwwwwd!”

“Gosh! Your ‘Gawd’ must be running as far away as possible from you after all that screeching,” I thought, but courtesy prevented me from voicing this out loud.

“You are getting married!” She sighed heavily into the phone.

“Really? Now that’s a surprise,” I said.

She giggled. “Naughty naughty, keeping secrets from your cousin eh? Are you off work now?”

Considering it was nine in the night, I had better be.

“OK!! Here’s the plan. I am actually in your town right now! Aint that cool?” She crooned.

“Just fantastic!” I said thumping my empty coffee mug on the table and dreading whats to come.

“Lets catch up over a couple of drinks….”

I drank a gallon instead of a couple. It was the only way I could drown her mush and her screechy comments and pseudo excitement at MY wedding.

“Still in bed huh?” Ma sounded somewhere between exasperated and angry. I looked at the phone through sleepy hung-over eyes. Had I really answered her call? I must love my mother very much indeed!

“You drink?” Ma asked astounded.

“Of course I drink!” I said summoning my alcohol induced wits.

“I mean you consume alcohol!?” ma clarified. I had this silly urge to laugh, but even in my semi-awake state I knew it wouldnt go down well with ma.

“It not like a news flash ma! You knew all along!” I said a tad defensively.

“Ya, but I didnt know you drank like a fish!” She said a little heatedly.

“Whats with the drinking rant on a saturday morning?” I asked mildly annoyed.

“Natasha called this morning to say how much ‘funnnn’ it was meeting up with you last night and all she could talk about was how you downed one drink after another!!” Ma said.

That biiii…. Now I could see it all.  She calling ma with spicy albeit non-existent tales of my drunken escapades. Ma worried that four generations of our relatives will hear of this gossip. Some will scoff at me, some will shun me, some younger ones will gape at me with awe.

“She was drinking too ma,” I said in a small guilty voice. I hated putting ma in a situation of any kind.

Ma softened at my tone. “But beta, she is married!” Ma explained.

Well… good people.. so yay!!! In some months I am going to have my official drinking licence!! I am getting married!! Whooooooooopppppppeeeeeeee!!

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2 Comments»

  Prakhar wrote @

hahahhahaha…..drinking license..LOL!!

Any chance Natasha readin all this 😀

  bride2bee wrote @

oh how I wish she is. Maybe she gets so mad after reading this that she dreads calling me the next time!!

Sigh! If only dreams did come true 😛

Changed her name, so that even if she does guess its her, there’s no way she can hold me to it!!

clever clever me!


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