It's my wedding after all!

…I have to have the last word!

Archive for cousins

cough, cough, ahem!

So, there I am fuming over Natasha’s duplicity and wondering if life will ever progress beyond vile gossip for her, when the phone rings once again! Since its an unknown caller I almost dont answer it. Almost. Then I do!

“hello?” I said in a voice gruff with abandoned emotions

“Is this a wrong time to call?” he asked.

“Depends on who is calling!” I replied.

“Oh! Of course you wouldnt recognise me after all this time! Its me Vignesh! Naina mausi’s, husband’s, brother’s, wife’s, second cousin’s younger son?” He reminded me.

All this time? When had I ever met him? And heck! I still couldn’t place him. So true to my nature I remained quite.

“We met at Parangana’s wedding?” he hesitated.

“Who Paranagana?” I asked completely baffled now. “Dude, if you are chatting up a wrong number, you’ve picked the wrong woman!” I was annoyed. Really annoyed.

“Wait! Parangana? Naina Maasi’s, husband’s…”

“Wohohoho!” I interrupted him before he charted out a new family tree for me. “It Naina Bua for me. And since that’s absolutely the only name I recognise, I am still on this line with you. Come to the point.”

I knew I was being rude. But I sure as hell did not know this bloke, who did speak decent english, but sucked at breaking ice.

“I was in town. Naina maasi had given me a packet to give to you that’s all,” he said on such a heartbroken whisper, that it was a miracle that I didnt burst out laughing.

“See? it was easy as that!” I said in a semi-conciliatory tone. “Now, when do you get free?”

“I am free now,” he said still in that heartbroken tone.

“Great! Write my address down and we can do lunch together! Sounds good?” I asked.

“Yes! yes!” he yelped like an eager puppy.

Precisely an hour later, I opened my door to a rather handsome, twenty-something, charming gentleman. Over ordered-in lunch I learnt that Vignesh was actually a geek and was in town for some hush-hush top-secret business, he refused to talk about. He was totally intrigued with me and my independent lifestyle and kept bombarding me with hilarious questions like, ” So you drink daroo?”

He was such an entertaining break after screechy Natasha, that I was quite enjoying myself. I offered him some wine and he sheepishly accepted. His eyes were aglow with the excitement of doing something wicked. I almost rolled my eyes.

A couple of glasses down, he asked me, “Wont your fiance mind this?”

“Mind what?” I asked my wine-fuzzed mind not quite comprehending his question.

“You entertaining another male when you are all alone at home?” He said staring deep into his wine glass.

I spluttered on my wine, but refrained from laughing. “No,” I answered as sober-faced as I could, “he will understand that you are a distant cousin of mine and that I am safe with relatives.”

He smiled, content with this explanation. “Besides,” I added,” If you hang around long enough, you might just meet him!”

His eyes widened in horror. “he comes to meet you when you are alone?”

I looked at him with a dead pan expression. Was this dude for real? Was I hallucinating ? Maybe I had a couple of drinks to many. He smiled at me and then looked back deep into his wine glass.

“Can I ask you something? And you wont get mad at me?” He asked. I just remained quite. I had no idea what was playing on his mind.

“Have you been deflowered yet?”

“What?” I asked genuinely confused.

“No! No!” he screamed jumping to his feet. “You dont have to answer if you dont want to. I know I crossed my line there. Its just that I was curious you see. I have never met a woman quite like you before. So bold and so strong. Almost like a man!”

Anybody interested in a GAY marriage?